Thank God Halloween comes but once a year...
if I was over myself by the end of the night, I am sure everyone who encountered me was too.
But it wasn't me...it was legendary WWF wrestler Hacksaw Jim Duggan done sexy.
Now, don't misunderstand, I am not a fan of women using the haunted holiday as an excuse to trollop around, I was adequately clothed, I just wore boots with heels instead of wrestling boots, thus deeming myself "sexy."
What most people don't know about me (unless you check out my beer club's myspace page) is that I have a vast knowledge of professional wrestling from 1984 till about 1994.
I was seven years old watching four hours of wrestling every Saturday morning, dreading the garage sale runs my mother would make me go on.
I would rather stay in and revel in the glory of the Four Horsemen
(tully blanchard, arn and ole anderson, and ric flair in case you were wondering) and anticipate commercial breaks when our couch arm turned into the top turnbuckle and our family room was our very own ring.
I loved when we went to Clemens instead of Hennings supermarket because they had an expanded magazine selection that include PWI (professional wrestling illustrated) I loved checking all the stats!
When I was in seventh grade I had to choose between having a party and going to the spectrum to see Macho Man (Oh..ye-ah) and the
Ultimate Warrior clash...I chose the latter.
I stopped watching when things got a little too soap operaesque in the nineties when WWF turned into some erotic circus with Vince Mcmahon's daughter and Triple H fighting all the time. But I still love talking about it with other nostalgic aficionados whenever possible.
So why not incorporate my passion into my Halloween costume (two years in a row now.)
I really upped the ante this year...the costume came together over several days and about twenty two dollars. I started off at Home Depot....where I was the lone lady in the lumber section. It was a hoot. I picked up a 2 by 4 (his signature prop) for .51 cents. Then days later off to Target to buy my dear pregnant friend, Jenna, a baby shower treat. There i picked up a tank top, some short blue shorts, an ace bandage for my knee (in the ring injury) and wristbands.
I did some research and listened to friends' recommendations on how I should get into character. I would have to strut around philly with aforementioned lumber holding my thumb up all night while simultaneously sticking my tongue out.
Hmm... he truly is one talented multi-tasker. I am sure his coke habit helps.
It's taken me a few days to recover Halloween to finally blog about it...
I also had to do some more research in the afterglow to see where I could have done better, you know what could have been adjusted to make me look even more like Hacksaw.
Here's what I noted:
1) I snorted salt off the bar, instead of coke
2) He didn't really stick his tongue out as much as he just opened his mouth wide and looked crazy
3) Even when trying to look roided out crazy I still look like happy go lucky me
4) He had stars knee bands- I did not
5) He rarely wore a bandana around his head, that was just my touch
6) I have no proof that he drank budweiser nor high life, my choice beverages for the evening...but I have pretty good hunch he did.
Joining me for the evening was April Annie, masquerading as "Crazy Bald Britney on the night she assaulted the paparazzi with an umbrella" She had her down pretty good.
We started things off at the Black Sheep featuring Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spooktacular.
Then it was off to Jose Pistolas so I could show my buddies "Hacksaw."
Casey was bartending as HUMPTY which may have been one of the greatest things I have ever seen...little did he know I had my own Groucho Marx nose/glasses with me....
and here is the greatest photo of all time... Next our friend Dan, the crazed Maryland Crabber, met up with us.... and we headed across the city to Silk city....which was way to crowded but I managed to smuggle in my 2 by 4 and find a seat at the bar...so I was the happiest hacksaw in all the land. We were then joined by Casey, Bronwyn and Erica...Casey's costume continued to change throughout the night, but here's one shot of him bleeding after his boss slammed him into the concrete at 5th and Spring Garden for drinking a High Life while wearing a Flying fish jacket.
I woke up the next day a little "worse for the wear" but at least my own prop wasn't used against me.... I'll leave you with this most recent photo of the living legend, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.....
all those years in the ring (or lines in the bathroom) have really caught up with him....Here is a great quote from him after he crashed a bus in New Smryna, Florida in 2005...
"It just flipped over," Duggan said. "They said stay up high and keep it down. I stayed up high and was keeping it down and once it started to go, it does not respond like anything I've ever driven before."
Good Job Jim---stayin' up high and keepin' it down.
Lastly, if any one was curious what my adorable nephews were for halloween...
William is the bird, and Tanner is the construction worker with the pumpkin in his hand...
November 5, 2007
Thank God Halloween comes but once a year...