April 8, 2009

Welcome to Mastoris. We will feed you. Lots.


In a not so far away land named Bordentown, lies a diner, and not just any diner, but the diner.
Mastoris is a spot that Lance and his family would go sometimes in his youth.

They are known for greeting each table with cheese bread and cinnamon bread. There are many fans out there still holding out for a combo bread.

Most people are overwhelmed by the 300 + items on the menus. Lance and I conducted thorough internet research prior to arriving. A "yelper" suggested that you walk in there knowing what you're in the mood for, and take it from there.

Seemed like Lance was thinking "sandwich," and I was thinking "fish entree."
Normally I wouldn't eat fish at a diner (and I probably won't again)- but based on all these "credible" yelp reviews, I thought I could gamble. Reviewers made it seem more like a restaurant than a diner.

The diner business has been the Matsoris business since 1927.
They started out on wheels, a lunch wagon. And look at 'em now....Sort of reminds me of those Fetfaltzes of Bella Vista Beverage.

The portions are massive. As this yelper, Chris, writes:

"Mastori's is like the nexus of all diner realities. I would actually hesitate to call it a diner proper, because of its gargantuan size, but more like a full-size diner theme restaurant. When you walk in, your first stop is a bakery filled with every dessert or pastry you could possibly want. If it whets your appetite for some baked goods, you're in luck, because as soon as you sit down you are given complimentary cream cheese bread and cinnamon bread. Everything off the HUGE menu comes in equally huge portions and is just good-tasting stuff. Even the most obese of my friends struggle to finish everything on their plate."

So Lance opts for the Chicken Parm sandwich on Sunflower bread....
Me- a swordifsh in a mustard sauce. I am used to getting entrees where I am nervous I won't have enough sauce for my swordfish...here I was nervous my cholesterol was entering a danger zone.

I had a few bites and couldn't eat much more. I thought I was in some sci fi horror moving similar to the BLOB, where the sauce would suddenly gather into a deadly amorphous goop and attack lance mid-bite.

My sides were corn pudding and creamed spinach.
The creamed spinach looked like it had glue in it, but it was still enjoyable. It was the creamiest creamed spinach I ever had. The corned pudding had more "canned" taste to it than the worst homebrew I ever tasted.
But Lance said that was the beauty of it.

We ate in the "lounge" which looked like a creepy dated Bennigans.
There is also a diner room, a dining room, a patio, and banquet space.
I do suggest you go there if you are on the Jersey Turnpike.
It is only about 3 miles off of Exit 7.
Beer wise, you won't be surprised to see the usual suspects: Heinekin, Blue Moon, Yuengling etc.

Lastly, if you go make sure you walk away with some of there famous baked goods.
Just look at those doughnuts...

They're mutant!

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