January 19, 2012

I Hate the Gym

I hate the gym.
My sister loves the gym. She's like the homecoming queen of the gym.  Over the fall, I went to a spinning class at La Fitness with her. Apparently an "easy" spinning class. It was called the "candy class" and the music was all over the place (in a good way- not just that typical "club gym" music that plays.)  You could do whatever you wanted on the bike at whatever intensity you could handle.
I made it about 30 minutes and called it quits and had to leave the class. I learned that the only bike for me is one that moves. I ran circles around the parking lot feeling like a loser until she was done. Then we "lifted."
Everyone at the gym was happy to see my sister. She pretty much belongs on the cover of Muscle Fitness magazine. She's that woman you see with sculpted arms. Not quite Madonna arms- but she's beyond toned. Probably 2% bodyfat.  People were most likely wondering what the hell happened to me as they were previously unaware that Patty Sharp had such a heffer for a sister.

But that's got to change. I was honored back in November when my other sister Kathy asked me to be the Maid of Honor in her wedding. Miss muscle is Matron of honor.  Even trying on dresses last weekend was brutal. I said to the soon-to-be-bride, "Don't worry I'm enrolling in the "Beerest Loser" and I'm going to lose 20 lbs." Her response was, "You think? The wedding is in four months!"

 I can win $250 for the beerest loser. I really want to win but I ate thai noodles the last two days and I had a cupcake last night (even though I typically pan the dessert.)  Not really the diet of a beerest loser. I joined the gym on Sunday with my gym buddy Jonny.  I went running the last two days. I don't own a lot of workout clothes so I just wear beer shirts.  I joined SWEAT. So if you're a member and you want to teach me how to work out since I suck at it- feel free to email me.


  1. Maybe you should try hashing - enjoy the beer and get in a run.

    Joining SWEAT myself - Queen Village. You?

  2. I thought about hashing a few years back...but I think it's the type of thing you get more comfortable with the more you do it and I probably don't have the time.
    BUT YES- Queen Village!

  3. I agree with you. I disagree with your sister. Some perils of the gym are universal...

    Oh, I also really like beer.